Seven Clarifying Questions for Complex Times
Getting to What Matters and Finding Your Next Step
When situations and circumstances escalate and intensify, whether in a relationship, or in your family, or your company or community, or in your country, it’s easy to get overwhelmed. There may be a lot to take in, a lot to try to grasp and understand. And sometimes it all feels like too much. And you just want to walk away or ignore it or find a quick fix so you can go on.
Yet it could be that none of those options are realistic. You are where you are, and what is happening is what is happening. And there’s no easy way out.
So, what do you do? How do you respond? How can you find a next step and hopefully move forward?
A Transformational Presence approach to any situation starts with cutting to the core or the essence of what is happening. We start with simple yet powerful questions that tend to engage the intuitive mind as well as the intellect. Questions that can cut through the “noise”, streamline our focus, and show us more clearly what is really going on—what the situation is really about.
In the last few weeks, I’ve been using a particular set of Transformational Presence questions to help me stay present with the political and societal restlessness and uncertainty all around me, yet not lose myself in the intensity and drama. Perhaps you are feeling that challenge as well. There is very little steady ground to stand on, which means we have to create that ground for ourselves. If you have been working with Transformational Presence for a while, you will recognize some of these questions. While any one of them on their own can spark discovery or insight, asking these questions in this specific order can reveal a next step or path forward more quickly. You can use them for yourself or with a group.
1) What is important to pay attention to right now?
There are things happening around you as well as within you. Both are important to pay attention to. What’s happening around you is impacting what is happening within you, and the other way around.
So, take a deep breath. Get quieter. Be present with what is happening around you. Let it show you what is most important for you to pay attention to. Don’t worry if you think you don’t know how to do this. Trust that some part of you does.
Then turn your attention inward. Be present with what is happening inside of you, and ask what is most important for you to notice now in your feelings and thoughts. If you are familiar with the Three Intelligences, check in with each of them. And if not, your feelings and thoughts are a good place to start.
2) What is this situation really about?
What’s really going on here? What is this really about? And what does the situation want you to know that is not obvious? Take another breath and drop into a quieter inner space. Let the situation talk to you or show you a picture or communicate with you in its own way. Remember that information and messages can come to you in many different ways. Our job is to make space for that.
3) What’s driving what is happening?
Be curious. Take another breath and drop down underneath the surface of what’s happening, or lift above it—whichever feels right for you. What is driving this situation? What’s behind it or underneath it? What is motivating the various people involved? What are their intentions? They may be similar; on the other hand, they may have very different agendas.
And how about for you? What is driving your feelings, thoughts, and actions? What is motivating your involvement in the situation? What is your intention here?
4) What is the bigger potential?
What wants to happen in service of more than you and the close-in stakeholders? In other words, what wants to happen in service of a greater good? Whatever is happening has a bigger context. Tap into that bigger context and ask what the greater wisdom within that bigger picture wants you to know. There is a seed of potential and possibility somewhere within what is happening. And the bigger the chaos or the deeper the complexity, the more opportunities there are likely to be waiting.
When you view your situation through a bigger context and tap into a greater wisdom, it may point you or the situation in a particular direction. The details may not be clear, yet you can sense a direction for where things want to go. What is the situation asking the people involved for now? And what is it asking you for now?
5) What direction is the energy currently trending? Is that serving a bigger picture?
What direction is the situation trending or moving right now? Who or what is that serving? What, if anything, wants to shift? What could that shift lead to?
If the current trending direction feels like what wants to happen, what is it asking for from you to continue supporting that trend? And if it isn’t, what is the situation asking for from you to shift the trend?
6) Going forward, what is yours to do in this situation? And what is not?
Life is complex. We get pulled in many different directions. So, it’s important to know yourself and recognize your role within whatever may be happening. What was your part in bringing the situation to where it is now? Or if you landed here unexpectedly, how did that happen? What is your connection to the situation? What is it asking you to learn?
In Transformational Presence, we often ask ourselves, “What is mine to do in this moment?” And then, “What is not mine to do?” Use your energy and focus wisely. Bring to the table what is truly yours to bring and make space for others to do the same.
7) What does this tell you about your next step?
Let the situation and these questions show you. In Transformational Presence, we often say that there is nothing to figure out. If we pay attention—listen, sense, and feel—what we need to know begins to reveal itself. The more we practice, the more we notice. And the more we notice, the more messages start coming through. The situation will show you how to navigate it if you pay attention.
As you find your next step, take it. And then go back to question #1 and work through the cycle of questions again. Trust the process. And remember that it’s a practice that gets easier over time.
Helpful and clear, as always! Thank you!
Excellent. Shared on Facebook. Thank you!