Open, Unlock, Look, Enter, Breathe
A Healing Spiral for the Human Spirit
My most insightful personal work often happens in the dark of night—moments when I am awakened by unconscious thoughts that are breaking through my conscious awareness and demanding attention. I don’t necessarily want to be awake at 3:00 am, yet I’ve learned not to resist. It only leads to frustration.
Yet it’s been helpful to learn how this process works for me—that when I first awaken, I’m usually floating for a bit in that liminal space between asleep and awake. That I may still be in a dream state, at least partially, where the work of the night has already begun. And that during those first few minutes, I tend to feel powerless to shift my state of being. However, very soon I will become conscious enough to remember to breathe into my bones and get grounded in my body again. That’s when the real work begins.
And so it was a few nights ago when I woke up overwhelmed with a challenging community situation that’s been going on for months. My head was spinning, trying to “figure out” what we could do. Which just made me more anxious. Yet I kept breathing deeper and deeper into the bottom of my body until I could feel my body cradled by the bed. And then the liminal shadowy darkness of my room and of my psyche started to work in my favor. My intuitive senses began pinging with messages and information, and my conscious mind was receiving and cataloguing.
And then came five single-word instructions:
Open
Unlock
Look
Enter
Breathe
Those words seemed rather cryptic at first, and I wondered how these “instructions” were going to help me find a way forward in my situation. Yet almost immediately, my thoughts were interrupted by an impatient inner voice:
Stop! You’re focusing on the wrong thing. This is not about the situation; it’s about you. It’s about how you are showing up and how you see your role in what is happening. And even more importantly, it’s about the doubts and fears and uncertainties inside of you that you haven’t yet fully acknowledged. You’re dancing around them, but you’re not letting them have a voice. Put your focus on healing your own present and future, and your path through this situation will become clear.
That impatient voice got my attention. And the message, though unexpected, rang true. It took me back to the Three Fundamental Questions of Transformational Presence:
What wants to happen? Or, what is trying to get my attention?
Who is that asking me to be; how it is asking me to show up?
What is it asking me to do, at least as a first step?
And right on the heels of those Three Questions, yet another powerful question from our work:
What is underneath what’s happening inside you? What is this really about?
Suddenly, the five single-word instructions were very clear. I was getting to the real work of the night.
Open—The first step was to be willing to open myself to the deeper places inside of me where I have doubts, resistance, maybe even fears. To be open to whatever I may find and whatever is asking for my attention. And to open myself to an even wider spectrum of the human experience.
Unlock—As I open to deeper chambers of my being, I acknowledge that while many doors are already open, a few remain closed. One or two might even be locked. Yet I have the feeling that if I am willing to touch those doors, trusting that I can be with whatever I find on the other side, the locks will fall away. I realize now that the “locks” are actually my resistance. So, if a door remains locked, that means I still have some work to do to transform my resistance into courage.
Look—Opening the doors to the chambers, the next step is to look beyond the threshold. What is waiting for me that I have resisted or has been hidden until now? I don’t have to go in yet. Right now, all I have to do is look inside—see what’s in there. I can rest at the threshold before going in. I allow myself time to sense and feel what is inside, what is waiting to be explored. I know that I need to take my time here. There is no hurry in these inner chambers. And I give myself permission to turn away temporarily if I’m not quite ready to go in, as long as I am honest with myself about my choice.
Enter—And when I am ready, it’s time to enter and to be present with what is waiting for me. To listen to it, to sense and feel it, to let it show me what it wants me to know. I don’t have to fix or change anything, or even heal anything. When I enter, my job is simply to stay present. Even if there is something I don’t understand. Even if there appears to be nothing there. Because, in fact, there is never “nothing.” Even “nothingness” carries a message.
Breathe—And then to take a breath. And then another. To recognize that no matter what I find inside, I keep breathing until I get used to being with it. The more at ease I become with whatever is there, the more I can be open to receive guidance, understanding, and direction. I can dare to be curious, even if I’m afraid of what more I will find or sense or feel. I can allow discoveries, insights, and awareness to come however they do. If I trust the process, clarity will come in its own time. My job is to keep breathing and to stay present with whatever I find. This is transformational work.
After a couple of hours, I drifted back to sleep. As the sun rose on a new day, while I didn’t have all the answers for how to move forward in the challenging situation, I was more at peace within myself. And several days later, I still am. I have a deeper confidence that I will find each next step, not only in that situation, but in my journey forward.
A Healing Spiral
As I continue to work with these five instructions, I’m now seeing them as points on a rotating Healing Spiral that keeps taking me deeper into the heart of my being. As I make my way around the first ring of the Spiral, I pass through Open to Unlock to Look to Enter to Breathe and then I come around to Open again. I spiral deeper into each next layer of awareness and discovery. And I continue to find deeper parts of myself, deeper chambers of being.
As I keep going, I’ll probably find other closed or even locked doors. I’m ok with that. Now I know that I can touch the doors, releasing my resistance to what may be inside, and the doors will fall open. I can then look inside. And when I’m ready, I can enter into that chamber, and I can breathe, staying present with whatever is there. I feel more confident that I will find my way.
Such a powerful process. Thank you!
What a great column to discover after one of those nights of waking up bothered by one of those ongoing community problems. Thanks once again for sharing the tools—resolution, discovery, and insights await!