Intentional Emptiness
After transformation, then what?
Perhaps it’s happened to you—a “turning point” in your life or an awakening or some kind of transformation. Or maybe you discovered a new insight that, in the moment at least, felt life changing. You might even look back on that experience as a “before and after” event—life “before” whatever happened, and life “after.”
And then maybe you wondered, What do I do with this experience? How can I sustain this new awareness? How can I integrate this new sense of “being” into my daily life?
Last week I wrote about “Blessed Emptiness” and my Chautauqua summer of personal healing and spiritual restoration. Now that I’m back home and summer is quickly coming to an end, I can feel momentum building for the new autumn season of activity, responsibility, and public engagement. If I let it, the blessed emptiness could soon be overtaken by the “fullness” of all that is unfolding. Again, maybe you can relate.
Metaphorically speaking, it’s like Life in its biggest sense is an overflowing river. Sometimes it flows gently, yet other times the waters are rough and turbulent—tricky to navigate. For six weeks this summer, I stepped out of that river that had been my life and Life all around me for quite some time. And I loved being out of the river! I loved the feeling of emptying out all the “stuff”. Some days, I forgot that there even was a river. Yet the thing is, the river—life in its all its beautiful and often unsettling complexity—kept on flowing whether I was in it or not.
Now that I know what it’s like to live from the blessed emptiness, I don’t want to get back in the river. I don’t want to lose the healing and restoration of my spirit that I found this summer. I don’t want to lose touch with the deep and clear recognition of who I am and what, at this time in my life, is truly mine to do. As well as what is not mine to do. Again, maybe you know this feeling as well.
When I was still leading the big Transformational Presence courses, by the third or fourth day, participants were always asking how they could take what they were learning back into their daily lives. They couldn’t see how they might integrate who they were becoming through our time together into their world back home. Their worldviews were expanding. They were excited about the deeper ways they were coming to know themselves and new levels of understanding about how life works, yet they didn’t know how to take that back home. In our days together, they had stepped out of the river of their lives, and they were uneasy about stepping back in. They didn’t want to lose what they had found.
The Power of Choice
How we return to the river or to our daily lives comes down to how we choose to be—the way we choose to be in relationship with the river and with the world around us as we return. When we have been through a transformation or experienced a turning point in our lives, if we step back into the river and try to integrate all we are learning and who we are becoming into our pre-existing Life, it’s not likely to work. The energies, patterns, relationships, systems, and calibrations of Life around us are quite firmly established. Those patterns and systems have been in place for a long time, and the systems have been calibrated to be self-sustaining. The river current in our daily lives can be strong and willful.
At the same time, we are in a process of discovering new ways of being and new ways of engaging with the world around us. And it’s all still tender, fresh, fragile, and vulnerable. While the river—Life—is busy flowing in its well-established patterns, we may need a little more time and space to grow into and fully inhabit our newly expanding awareness and understanding. We are only just beginning to grasp new possibilities that await; we’re just beginning to sense how we might show up and do things differently. In spite of our best intentions to take our new discoveries with us back into the river, the enormity of the systems and the strong patterns all around us are more likely to bend us to their will. The system prefers what it knows. And soon, our new learning and who we were on our way to becoming is just a memory.
Yet there is another way. Instead of trying to fit who we are becoming and our new awareness into the pre-existing patterns and systems around us, we can invite Life to meet us where we are now. We can remain grounded in our becoming process. We can carve out the time and space we need to live into what we are learning and who we are becoming. We can stay close to ourselves and nurture the new awareness and presence emerging from within. It’s a practice, for sure. Yet with commitment and focus, it can happen more quickly than you might think.
Coming back to the river metaphor, we can begin by choosing to walk beside the river rather than stepping back into its flow. We can choose to walk on our own solid ground. If we step back into the river too soon, we risk losing what we have recently gained. It’s a practice of staying rooted in who we know ourselves to be deep in the heart of our being and what we know our life is about. We can stand or walk beside whatever is happening—we can stand or walk beside the people who are dear to us in our lives—while still being true to ourselves. We can keep inviting life to meet us where we are now.
Oneness and Differentiation
Deepak Chopra used to talk about the oneness and the differentiation. We are one with all of creation; everything is energy in motion. Yet at the same time, we are each unique; we are each our own person, our own configuration and calibration of that energy. We were each born into this world with a purpose or soul mission; we each have unique gifts and talents. We each have our own roles to play in the great theater of Life. And it’s important to be clear within ourselves about who we are, why we are here, what is ours to do, and what isn’t.
That last part is critical. Because the more conscientious we are as human beings wanting to make a difference, the easier it is to get caught up in roles or tasks that are not really ours to do. It doesn’t mean that those things aren’t important, it doesn’t mean that they don’t need to be done. However, they might be someone else’s to do, not ours. With so much happening in our lives and in our world, it becomes increasingly important to put our time and energy and focus towards the best use of who we are and why we are here.
Which brings me back to blessed emptiness. During my summer out of the river, I found parts of myself that were longing to be revived, restored, and made whole again. I touched parts of me that I hadn’t been able to reach for such a long time because I was “too full”—too full of all that I was trying to keep up with in the river of Life. I realized that, over time, I had gotten swept up in that river so gradually and subtly that I hadn’t noticed I was becoming “too full”.
Until I found myself in the blessed emptiness again. And now that I’ve found it once more, I’m not going back. I’m inviting Life—all that is happening around me and within me, the projects I’m involved in, people close in and far away—to meet me where I am now. I’m committed for now to walking beside the river, not being swept up in it.
My Personal Practice
Nature photography has long been an avocation for me that feeds my soul. It draws me into presence with the natural world on ever deeper levels. I “see” differently when I look at the world as a photographer. So, my sunrise walks and meditations along Chautauqua Lake this summer are well documented in photos and videos.
Before I left Chautauqua, I began creating an hour-long video just for me to help me sustain the blessed emptiness. My daily practice has now become intentional emptiness. Every day, I watch at least some part of that video. And without fail, within the first two minutes, I touch that blessed emptiness again. Within ten or fifteen minutes, I’m fully inhabiting that emptiness again. And I’m home again in all of whom I know myself to be.
It’s a practice. Every day, I practice walking beside the river yet not becoming swept up in its rhythms and energy. I practice moving forward in the truth of who I know myself to be, and continue living into what is mine to bring to the world. I’m getting more secure in this new calibration of my being and presence—every day, I’m getting better at inviting Life to meet me where I am now. And when it can’t, my job is to remain in integrity with both the situation and with myself.
If what I write calls out to you, I encourage you to listen to the parts of you that are responding. Ask those parts of you what they want you to know. Give yourself time and space to get empty. Be gentle with yourself, yet firm. Create your own practice—whatever will serve you. And remember it’s a process—it took me a couple of hours every day for six weeks! You can do it, too. Find the courage to step out of the river. Get empty. It could be a new beginning.
Resources:
Masterclass with Alan in Brussels, Belgium—October 18th
FREE Live 20-minute Meditations with Alan on Zoom—6 Mondays, October 28th - December 2nd
Alan, your writing speaks directly to me. I went on retreat this summer for 6 days. It was a time of emptying out so much of what lives within me that really needs tending to. I knew I wanted to come home different than how I arrived there and wanted to really integrate what I learned and touched within myself...and what I shared to allow others to touch. Having been home from the retreat for two months, I have managed to create a good amount of time each week to stay connected with my newly emptied self. I spend a great deal of alone time in nature and like you taking lots of photos for the same reasons you described. Thank you for the description of walking along side the river on solid ground. You speak the words I have felt but did not have my own words for. I could go on and on. Thank you always for your writing. Each piece speaks to my heart deeply. Peace to you.
I love this invitation of Intentional emptiness and the metaphore you use. Thank you for sharing your experiences and wisdom.