Encounters with Life
Presence, Participation, and the Silence Within
My recent personal journey has brought me back to these words from activist Clarissa Pinkola Estés’ 2001 “Letter to a Young Activist During Troubled Times.”
Do not lose heart. We were made for these times.
One of the most calming and powerful actions
you can do to intervene in a stormy world
is to stand up and show your soul.
To display the lantern of soul in shadowy times like these—
to be fierce and to show mercy toward others, both—
are acts of immense bravery and greatest necessity.
Struggling souls catch light from other souls
who are fully lit and willing to show it.
If you would help to calm the tumult,
this is one of the strongest things you can do.—Clarissa Pinkola Estés
(From “Letter To a Young Activist During Troubled Times”—first published 2001; then again in 2016. It’s also known as “Do not lose heart. We were made for these times.”)
Presence. Pure presence.
It’s taken me seven decades to be able to plumb this deeply into the essence of what I’ve been teaching and speaking about for more than 30 years. It’s not that I wasn’t living this understanding before; I was. Sort of. As best I could with the maturity of presence I had at the time. I fully acknowledge that how I’ve done life in my 71 years has not been for nothing. I’ve touched countless hearts all over the world and walked beside hundreds of people as they accomplished big things. Which usually included enormous inner journeys. Sometimes, in retrospect, for them and for me.
Yet looking back, I see how I’ve still been trying on some level to do my part. When, in fact, I might have been even more effective if my focus had been more fully on being my part. Living my life as a series of encounters—full participation, presence, and engagement—even more fully inhabiting the unfolding present moment.
I’ve been a very effective witness, wisdom keeper, supporter, encourager, guide, and mentor. And I’m proud of what I have brought to the world. Yet something is once again shifting in my full heart and soul comprehension of what it means to encounter life itself as it shows up. Soul to soul, essence to essence, presence to presence.
To encounter is to be a part of—to be a full participant in the unfolding moment.
Not just as witness.
Not just as supporter.
Not just as mentor or guide.
As a full participant. From inside what is happening.
Certainly, I might gather information. I might observe change or even transformation as an event unfolds.
Yet when I allow myself to be inside what is happening—to be in encounter with it—I, too, am changed and maybe even transformed by what is happening.
Even when it’s happening through someone else or far away.
I notice that my focus now is less on external events and more on what is happening inside me while those events are unfolding. As if I am inside the unfolding. There is a shift in how I orient to what is happening. In simplest terms, I notice more quickly whether my instincts are to draw closer or to back away. Not so much to fix or change, but rather to choose my degree of presence within what is happening, knowing that presence matters.
I feel much less calling now to certainty, opinions, or definitive thoughts. I’m more drawn toward sensing what it could mean to be more deeply human as I encounter systems and structures breaking open everywhere.
These recent realizations come out of my encounter with my own inner dissonance. Intellectually, I understood that the dissonance was not something to resolve or fix or get rid of; it was something to listen to. It was the deeper embodiment of that understanding that became the catalyst—realizing that the dissonance I was feeling within me was actually stepping up as my next teacher. My job was to allow myself to more fully embrace what I sense and feel rather than to get busy trying to fix it or make it go away.
The more I encounter reality rather than meeting it with my own agenda or objective in mind, the less I feel a need to defend or perform. I’m more rooted in my core. I feel a stronger sense of relationship with the people and circumstances around me and more spaciousness within me. I feel more human. Which makes me more humble. I’m quieter inside, more centered, and more open to encountering life.
Franciscan priest Richard Rohr (b. 1943), founder of the Center for Action and Contemplation in Albuquerque, New Mexico once said:
A wise mentor leads someone to their own center and to the Center.
—Richard Rohr
The more I encounter, the closer I get to my center. And as I write now, I realize this may be the foundation of my one-on-one coaching and mentoring. American Christian mystic Howard Thurman talked about “the sound of the genuine in yourself”. I feel like I’m touching that more often these days as I keep opening myself to encounters with “the sound of the genuine” in Life. Perhaps that’s the key I’ve been looking for all along.
To bring it all home, Trappist monk Thomas Merton’s (d. 1968) words have been engraved on my heart for many years:
May we all grow in grace and peace,
and not neglect the silence that is
printed in the center of our being.
It will not fail us.
—Thomas Merton
His words resonate profoundly. They bring me home. Because the deepest moment of every encounter I’ve ever had has been cradled in silence.
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Thank you for this, Alan. Pinkola Estés' words are very meaningful, as are Richard Rohr's and Thomas Merton's later in your post. But your own words give such important context and guidance for application in our daily lives during these difficult times. Thank you for leading us to the silence and to our presence so we can encounter life more fully and authentically.
Alan, your words have stayed with me since I read them early this morning. "Fully being my part instead of focusing on just fully doing my part" - that's a strong call to action - or call to awareness, if you will. Thank you for sharing your insights!