In her poetry, Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer writes from her own deeply personal connection to every aspect of life. She is open, transparent, vulnerable, strong, courageous, and wise. Her words are honest and true, sometimes painfully raw, other times beautifully tender, and at times, even sassy and surprising.
Reading many of her poems, often even speaking them out loud, I touch my own lived experience. My stories are different than hers, yet the essence of feelings, emotions, and inner process is universal. She writes from a full spectrum of presence—from delight at spontaneous encounters to the most profound sorrow that reaches deep into every cell of your being. And she goes there full-on, inhabiting the depth and breadth of whatever is happening, comfortable or not. She writes what is real for her in the moment.
Lately when I sit down to write, I keep coming back to her poem “After Years of Seeking Peace, I Stop.” Every time I read it, my perspective and my heart open wider, creating an even bigger container for all that is happening in my country and in the world, as well as in my personal life.
After Years of Seeking Peace, I Stop
right where I am
and find the peace
that is already here,
notice the way
peace is what
holds all the tension
in the same way
silence holds noise,
in the same way
the dark holds the sun.
Right here. Right here.
An infinite peace,
an unwavering peace
great enough to hold
all agitation, tender
enough to hold
even the most
shattered heart.—Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer
The gift of this poem for me is that it reminds me that the full spectrum of possibilities exists all the time. Admittedly, some possibilities will be more obvious or accessible or probable than others. Some will be nearly impossible to imagine. Yet in the field of potential, everything is possible. It’s up to us what possibility or perspective we choose as our lens, which region of the field of possibilities we choose to inhabit, the quality of the space we commit to holding, how we name the energy we choose to walk in.
Perhaps a story helps here. Things continue to get progressively more uncertain in my country; perhaps in yours as well. There are lots of conflicting signals and great disparity in how reality, truth, freedom, and justice are defined. In the midst of all this unsettledness, there is also unexpected change in my personal life.
Looking to the future, Johnathon and I have been considering a move to a different community and a different kind of living situation for more than a year. We found what feels like the right place, put our name on the waiting list, and were told it could be two years or longer before the cottage we wanted would be available.
And then suddenly two weeks ago our name came to the top of the list. Others before us weren’t yet ready. So, we have said yes to that opportunity and this week, our beautiful home for the last seven years went on the market. And thus begins a significant disruption in our lives, hopefully only for a few months, yet disruption nonetheless. And with the promise of a new horizon for our future.
This is a major change in our personal lives in a time of so much tumult in the world around us. Yet it feels right. Which takes me back to Rosemerry Trommer’s poem and to the enormous field of possibilities we’re in now that run the gamut from anxiety and overwhelm to excitement and creativity and new discovery.
Occasionally, I catch myself inhabiting the “overwhelm” region of that field—it’s all happening very fast and there is a lot to do in a relatively short period of time. Other times I land in the “excited and can’t wait” region. So far, only once have I almost been seduced into the “doubt and panic” region. And, of course, we still have quite a ways to go in this process. Our house has to sell, we have to let go of some precious things, pack what we will take with us, and hire a moving company.
Yet when I pause to breathe, I remember that I can choose which region in that field of possibilities I will inhabit. I don’t deny that some uncomfortable regions exist, and I’ll probably wander into them from time to time. However, I choose to walk in “trust.” I choose to breathe in trust. Both in my personal journey and in my country.
Rosemerry Trommer’s poem showed me that I can choose how I name the ground I walk on and the air I breathe, even in the face of uncertainty or tumult.
…I Stop
right where I am
and find the peace
that is already here,
notice the way
peace is what
holds all the tension
in the same way
silence holds noise,
in the same way
the dark holds the sun.
The ancient wisdom Principle of Polarity tells us that although we may focus on a particular spot on the line between one possibility and another—for example, a specific point somewhere between tension and peace, or between dark and light—the full spectrum is still present. And we get to choose whether we label the full spectrum “tension” that might also hold “peace,” or we label it “peace” that could also hold “tension.” We may not get to choose what is happening around us or within us—yet we can choose the perspective or context through which we meet what is happening.
Right here. Right here.
An infinite peace,
an unwavering peace
great enough to hold
all agitation, tender
enough to hold
even the most
shattered heart.
Sometimes my heart does feel shattered by the injustice and attacks on freedom and safety and the breaking open of life as we have known it here in the U.S. Occasionally my heart aches as I think about saying goodbye to a piece of furniture that’s been in my family for generations or a porcelain vase that belonged to my grandmother. And I do give myself space and time and breath to be present when it feels like my heart is breaking open.
Yet Rosemerry Trommer’s words reinforce my knowing that I can choose the energy I inhabit. I can choose the space I will hold for all that is happening in my country and the world and in my personal life. I can choose to walk in an unwavering “trust” great enough to hold all agitation, tender enough to hold even the most shattered heart. I can choose to hold the energetic space I want to inhabit. And I can nurture that energy and affirm and reinforce it every day.
How about you? What name would you give to the energy field you are inhabiting right now? Peace, courage, fear, overwhelm, clarity, doubt, trust, or something else? Will you pause to recognize the full spectrum of possibilities present, and then choose the region you will inhabit? What name do you give to the ground on which you choose to walk, the air you choose to breathe, the energy container you choose to hold your life?
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Thank you Alan! It’s important to find the peace that’s already there, even in the midst of what can seem chaotic. That will be extremely helpful in the next couple of months!
Thank you so much! Thinking of you and wishing you the very best!