A Long Loving Look at the Real
Guidance for the Road Ahead
Contemplation has been a big part of my spiritual practice for decades. For me, it’s a time for reflection, deep listening, being present with the things that break my heart as well as those that bring me fully alive. It’s not a time for problem-solving, but rather a time for letting Life talk to me. It’s a time for allowing myself to receive guidance, wisdom, and understanding.
Father William McNamara (d. 2015), a renegade Catholic priest in the Carmelite tradition, described contemplation as a long loving look at the real. The keyword for me in that definition is loving. To look at the realities of my life and of our collective life together in a loving and compassionate way.
However, in the last year, my contemplative practice has deepened, becoming richer and more full-bodied. In fact, it’s become more embodied. Much more than looking at the real, it’s become about staying present with the real. I’m stretching beyond Father McNamara’s definition to understand contemplation as a long loving presence with the real.
And it goes beyond loving as an adjective or verb to embodying love as a state of being. To be love. To live love as a clear, unvarnished, honest, straightforward, unwavering presence rooted in the deep stillness at the heart of my being. Or at least as close as I can get in the moment. It’s an ongoing practice.
A long loving presence with the real. To be with whatever is real for me right now. And then to take a next step—to remain present with what is real. To stay with it even when it is uncomfortable. And then yet another step—to allow myself to be touched deep inside. To be moved. To let whatever it is that I’m touching break open my heart a little wider. To stay present with the multitude of feelings that arise in the depths of my being.
Two quotes have been with me this week. The first comes from writer and civil rights activist James Baldwin (d. 1987).
I think that the inability to love is the central problem, because that inability masks a certain terror, and that terror is the terror of being touched. And if you can’t be touched, you can’t be changed.
—James Baldwin
It’s such a powerful statement. Yet as with William McNamara’s description of contemplation, after these last few months, I also feel drawn to expand on James Baldwin’s words. My version:
I think that the inability to be love—to live love—is the central problem, because that inability masks a certain terror, and that terror is the terror of being touched. And if you can’t be touched, you can’t be changed.
—James Baldwin, slightly revised by Alan Seale
The terror of being touched. Deep inside. Could this be one of the root causes of the world’s challenges today—the lack of our willingness to be touched deep in the heart of our being? The lack of our willingness to truly feel and to stay present with whatever we are feeling? Especially when those feelings—whether incredible or devastating or both—are more than we think we can bear?
Maybe a keyword in Baldwin’s statement is think. Because the thinking mind will try to protect us from discomfort and unease. That’s part of its job. Yet the heart has the power to break open wider again and again and embrace what is real right here, right now. That’s not saying that what is real is ok or that we like it or that we approve. It’s being real about “what is.” It’s about acceptance of “what is” whether we like it or not. And when we can take that step—when we can allow the breaking open and the heart’s embrace—we are forever changed.
Yet when we will not take that step, our inner world shuts down a little more. And we build up our protection walls a little higher. And we separate ourselves a little more from the rich fullness and overflowing possibilities of the human experience. And we widen the gap between us. And we further cut ourselves off from the mysteries and synchronicities of Creation.
The second quote from Buddhist monk and teacher Thich Nhat Hanh (d. 2022) offers some guidance in how to start living love—how to start being a long loving presence with the real. Thich Nhat Hanh’s teaching:
Drink your tea slowly and reverently, as if it is the axis on which the earth revolves.
—Thich Nhat Hanh
Thich Nhat Hanh was asking us to be incredibly intentional in our presence—intentional in how we show up to Life. He invited us to set an intentional tone for the living of our days. For how we do the simplest things—how we show up in the simplest ways—ripples out through every aspect of who we are and how we engage with the world around us. And it ripples out far beyond us to help shape the collective consciousness. The clearer our intention—the greater our focus and attention on how we choose to live—the more we contribute to a world that works. And the more we can be a long loving presence with the real. Even in unsettled times like these.
In just four weeks, we will leave 2024 behind and cross into 2025. A few weeks after that a new government will assume power in the United States. And then in the weeks and months that follow, the changes in policy and action of that new government will ripple out across the world however they do. I am past labeling them good or bad—they will be what they will be.
However things unfold, it will be up to us to hold a big-picture view of a world that works for all. And to shine Light on the hearts and minds of those in decision-making positions, to hold space for them to stand in integrity in service of a greater good, even when that reality feels far away.
It’s up to us to allow ourselves to be touched deep inside and keep our hearts open, even when it’s hard, even when it’s messy and chaotic. It’s up to us to stand in love as we stand for what matters. And if at times conditions feel unsafe, we can walk beside one another, we can lift one another up, and we can live the truth of who we are.
In these coming four weeks, as you look towards the crossing into a new year in your own life, a new year for your family and for those you hold dear, a new year for your country and for the world, consider what feels important to you to finish, to close, or to complete before the end of 2024. And consider what can help you prepare to step into 2025 with clear intention and focus so that you are best able to meet whatever the New Year brings.
As for me, these words inspired by Thich Nhat Hanh are serving as my guide.
Drink your tea slowly and reverently,
as if it is the axis on which the earth revolves.
Take your breath slowly and deeply,
as if it is the axis on which the earth revolves.
Be intentional in the living of your days
as if your presence is the axis
on which the earth revolves.
Free Monday Meditations on Zoom
Winter 2025 Series begins January 6th
8 Mondays January 6 - February 24, 2025
10 am ET / 7 am PT / 16 CET for just 20 minutes
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Resources:
Alan leads a half-hour contemplative meditation, “Touching the Sacred Within,” at First Religious Society, Unitarian Universalist, in Newburyport, Massachusetts at 8 am the first Sunday of each month. All are welcome.
Thanks for this Alan! So helpful!
I'm reading this right after my own daily contemplative practice, Alan, and it hits home: How making that space to be present opens a space for Presence, if that makes any sense.